10 Things to Do This Week

I have been a slient witness, the past few weeks, to monumental acts of courage. Among them are a young man, a college student, who publicly admitted that he is bulemic, a young woman with a life-altering illness take an offered hand even though it is against her nature, a friend pick up the crumbling pieces of a life she knew and start rebuilding, brick by brick.

They, of course, are not the only ones who have stared into the eyes of extraordinary challenge and tackled it head on. It happens daily, minutely, with each breath. They are our loved ones, casual acquaintances, and total strangers.

I've always felt a bit cursed that I attract damaged strangers and their stories. What, I've often wondered, am I supposed to do with these? But, as I've watched these lives unfold, listening to these stories told by people I know and love, it occurs to me that maybe this isn't a curse at all.

Exclusive of my role as a silent witness, I have no role in these stories--they are not mine to tell. However, I don't think it's possible to know extraordinary people without turning at least some bit of that lens inward; I am reminded of Socrates who argued that the unexamined life is not worth living. And I would like to believe that examining ourselves through those lenses can make us better at our own lives.

We've read the experiments showing that when many people are gathered, no one steps up to help when something happens. At the airport, recently, my son accidentally knocked a full cup of coffee out of my hands as we were waiting to board our flight. As I stood there, overburdened, soaking and watched with some sympathy by a group of unmoving people, a man slid through the crowd and handed me a large stack of napkins. "I saw you down the hall" he said, "I let them know that they need to get a mop." And I thought, as he disappeared back into the crowd, I want to be him.

I am a classic introvert. I tend to be silent when speaking is preferable, I tend to keep my thoughts and ideas to myself unless I'm certain of their welcome. Recently, I did a posting about 25 things I would do if given a day without consequences. For a variety of reasons, most of them are improbable (I did mention my introversion, right?). What my current self-reflection tells me, though, is that I spend too much time naming the improbable in the service of avoiding the uncomfortable. So, in no particular order, 10 things I will do this week not because they are extraordinary but because they aren't:

1) Say "I love you"
2) Admit fear
3) Assume the positive
4) Express gratitude
5) Share
6) A favor
7) Touch with care
8) Forgive
9) Hope
10) Speak

It's all very touchy-feely, something I actively try to avoid. This may be the most frightening week of my life.