Expectations 1 (What I Expect From Myself [also: 3rd post for the week.])

I was going to launch into some long-winded reflection of best practices and how they dovetail with expectations.

Instead, I'm going to discuss the Pinewood Derby and my impending sense of doom. Kiddo is a cub scout, which has been a godsend in terms of meeting new kids and having opportunities to try things like skiing and archery. I's good for both of us because my inclination is to hibernate while he is much more socially inclined. Additionally, I've always adamantly refused to overschedule the only childhood he has, which means that the one thing we DO choose needs to be something he really loves. This kid will never be a good team sports player--it just doesn't interest him. The scouting activities, however, he loves and so we plow forward. But now, it's Derby time.

Pinewood Derby cars, if you didn't know, start out looking suspiciously like a block of wood with a couple of grooves on the bottom. The block comes with a small packet of hardware and instructions like "A car with untrue axles tends to steer to one side or the other" (BSA). Is it just me, or does it sound like I should be performing lie detector tests? Kiddo got a Spy Gear version of one for the holiday, perhaps I should go dig it out.

This is our third year doing Derby; for the last two, his father helped him fashion something car-like from the block of wood. Given that his father lives in Michigan, it looks like it's my year to do the Derby car.

Oh god.

Rumor has it I need to buy a coping saw, some powdered graphite, sandpaper, paint, and various other...things related to crafting a Pinewood Derby car. Also, I've started making vague noises about offering extra credit to any of my students who can make one of the wretched things. Who cares that it's a writing class rather than woodworking, right? I'm all about alternative literacies.

Plus, the guys at Lowe's will probably laugh at me when I tell them I don't know what a coping saw is or how to use it. I hate it when the guys at Lowe's laugh at me. Again.

What, you're probably asking, does all of this have to do with expectations? Fair enough, since the assignment is to write about expectations.

So here ya go, my expectations (for the time being):

• That I will not saw off one of my fingers
• That my best efforts, and those efforts of the boy, result in placing higher than 5th yet again (per his request. I hate denying him things but I can't guarantee this one.)
  
• That I will not start smoking again as a result of this endeavor
• That at some point I will remember that I am, for the most part, a competent adult who is capable of following directions (even bizarre and arbitrary ones) most of the time

Surely these aren't too much to ask.